Motherhood Check-in: One Year

I've been holding onto every moment the last week or so as I've come to the conclusion that, no matter how hard I try to slow it down, my baby boy will turn one on Friday. This last year has been a whirlwind. I've learned so much, slept so little, and grown leaps and bounds. I've become more anxious but care less about what others think. I've watched a person grow from a tiny infant who needs mama for everything, to an independent and hilarious little boy. I've cried a lot, I've laughed even more, and I have given more kisses than I ever thought imaginable.I'm an emotional mess, as I would assume most moms are on their first child's first birthday.As I did for my niece on her first birthday, I've been putting together a slideshow of photos and videos from Finn's first year. It's been crazy to see the pictures of him as a newborn - hearing that soft little cry that used to wake me up in the middle of the night. We've caught some really memorable moments on camera - his first smiles, his first rolls, when he first sat up on his own, his first time crawling. I'm so grateful for technology so we can relive these times.I guess now that I have a year of motherhood under my belt, I should be considered a veteran at this. At least that's what I thought I would feel a year ago. However, I'm still learning - and I've come to the realization that as Finn gets older, I'll have more and more to learn alongside him. I've always looked at other moms thinking they were so effortless. But being one myself, I can admit that I've never felt so insecure in my entire life. I am constantly wondering if I've read to Finn enough, if I've fed him enough, if I've dressed him correctly for the weather. I have so much admiration for other moms now that I'm one myself!Being a mom has put my priorities in order. My little family is everything to me, and I work every day for them. I've also forced myself to prioritize me, because I'm constantly doing for others. I've taken solo trips this past year. I've started a business. I've taken up barre class.I've also had to ensure that my marriage is number one. David and I have always been so spontaneous, so we've learned to plan ahead for date nights, turn off the TV and phones to ensure quality time together, and I finally had the courage to travel without Finn in April to spend the weekend with my man. David has been such a great partner this last year and I love watching him with Finn. Being a mom and watching him as a dad has made me fall in love with him all over again!I read a quote the other day that said "The days were long, but the years were short" and I don't think I could've wrapped up this year any better. I swear I just got pregnant. I swear Finn was just born. And yet here we are, on the eve of the anniversary of me going into labor, getting ready to celebrate the birthday boy!I'm so lucky to be Finn's mom and I'm so excited for him to become a walking, talking little toddler. I can't wait to live this life with him and his daddy!